Craft books. So tempting, so cool! In my experience, no other type of book causes people to delude themselves quite so thoroughly.
The cute little R2-D2 hat? Oh My God I am SO going to learn to crochet so that I can make that hat! The AT-AT herb planter? Hey, that could happen - we have almost all those supplies laying around the house somewhere. And half the rest of this stuff is all cutting and glueing felt! Easy! Ok there's a little sewing if you want the Jar Jar Binks Voodoo Doll to look like Jar Jar Binks and not like Jabba the Hutt. And there's some embroidery. Paper mache. Hmm.
On the other hand - sticking pins into Jar Jar Binks? GENIUS.
Oh, I am being too cranky here and I have to stop. There are some great craft projects in this book that are awfully cute, not too hard, and worth a tiny bit of sacrifice. The Ewok Flower Vase (above) is a glass jar with felt and sticks glued on. I have a feeling I'm going to get that as a late Mothers Day gift - like, tomorrow. Emperor "Appletine" cleverly replaces the wizened Emperor's head with a sculpted dried apple. I'd display that on my mantelpiece any day.
And the true clincher, for my family, is the Han Solo Soap. Yes, you have to buy a soap mold and some of that melt-and-pour soap. Yes, you have to pick up an extra Han Solo action figure or be prepared to have yours out of action for a while. BUT. You end up with Han Solo frozen in carbonite, or as my boys say, "Han Solo as a penny," and I absolutely NEED that to be the soap in our guest bathroom.
Many of these crafts (and much more) are featured on the Star Wars kids website, which - I would like to know how many of you mugwumps knew about and didn't tell me! There you can sample Bonnie Burton's instructions and photos in this post about how to make your own Hannukah Droidel.
Oh, and while we're talking about Things Nobody Has Mentioned to Me, while I was noodling around looking for pictures of Han Solo in Soaponite, I found this set of Star Wars / Mr. Potatohead toys. Darth Tater. Heh heh. Yes, it's a mashup. Check out "Mashter Yoda":
And for the kid (or adult) who is truly hopeless at crafting, Burton includes two pages of instructions for painting rocks to look like your favorite Star Wars characters. Painted rocks: the last and best hope for those of us who routinely glue our fingers together when attempting craft.
I mean, it's no secret why I have such antipathy toward craft books: I'm exactly like the kid who can't hit a ball with a bat to save his life and therefore announces, "Baseball is stupid!" (in fact, I am also that kid). But I have an enthusiastic 7 year old who will come up with his own craft projects if not given enough step-by-step creative fodder. (Don't ask me about the 'bird nests' duct taped to tree branches in our yard. And REALLY don't ask me about where he got the mud to make them.)
So maybe I will buy a new set of wooden spoons. For myself. And I'll let Zhou have the old ones, to make into the Bith Band from the Mos Eisley Spaceport cantina. But if he sings that damn cantina band song while he's making them I'm going to have to lock myself in the office.
Nonfiction Monday hosted today at Shelf-employed.